Patch Asks: Do You Limit Your Kids' Cell Phone Use?

Needham parents: Tell us your mobile phone rules.

When surveyed last spring, 43 percent of Needham sixth graders said their parents don't monitor their cell phone use, though they reported spending an average of 2.04 hours daily sending text messages. With many cell phones these days capable of doing much more than sending or receiving calls—from texting to Internet surfing to video watching—allowing kids unbridled access to their phones is not all that different from letting them loose on the Web. Needham Youth Services Jon Mattleman recommends parents assert their authority—remembering who pays the bill—and set some limits on phone time for the middle to high school age. So what do you think? Should kids be allowed to keep their cell phones in their bedrooms, or do you take them away …

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Raising Needham

Raising Needham: Practice Makes Perfect

Getting kids to practice anything isn’t an easy job but it’s the hallmark of any accomplishment.

I love driving around town this time of year. I love seeing kids of all ages outside enjoying their youth, having fun and practicing their sport. My kids have noticed it, too. We drive by many open fields and schools on the way home from my youngest child’s school, and that gives me ample time to chat about the benefits of practice. The key word being chat, not lecture. “What are those kids doing, Mom?” asks my son. I answer with one short sentence and let it stick for a moment. “They are practicing their skills.” I can almost see the wheels turning in his mind as he pictures himself “playing” soccer with his dad not even realizing that he too is practicing. My daughter quickly chimes in with, “Just like I practice piano every day so I can…

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Raising Needham

Raising Needham: What's For Lunch?

It’s a decade-old question that frustrates students, parents, schools and our government.

I have never been a fan of lunch. Maybe it is because what passed as lunch at school when I was growing up was inedible, and many say not much has changed. When my daughter began kindergarten last year, I decided to pack her lunches until I got a lay of the land. I studied the school lunch menu, asked other parents their opinions and finally allowed my daughter to buy lunch on the rare occasion she liked what was on the menu, which wasn’t often. Then I asked her what she thought. Aside from the thrill of standing in the lunch line and buying lunch, there was not much to report. The pizza was too salty, the mac and cheese too dry and the pasta didn’t have enough sauce. Last year was a bust. I didn’t fare much better at home. Her lunch boxes…

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Too Many Texts? Needham Sixth Graders Surveyed about Internet, Cell Phone Use

Do you know how many hours a day your kid spends online?

Needham sixth graders send an average of 23 texts per day. They spend about two hours each day sending messages by phone and several hours on the Internet doing homework, surfing the Web, playing games and going on Facebook. And 31 percent of them say they can’t tell their parents all the websites they visit. That’s the finding of Needham Youth Services’ latest Safe Surf Workshop Survey, conducted last spring during a program at High Rock School that educates sixth graders about safe Internet use. (See the survey results as a PDF in the image gallery at right.) The department has offered the Safe Surf program annually for several years, and the topics have changed over that time, according to Youth Services Director Jon Mattleman. In the …

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Raising Needham

Raising Needham: Does Being a Mom Mean Being a Martyr?

It doesn’t matter if you are a mom or a dad; making time for yourself is the key to parenting sanity.

I don’t consider myself a martyr, but when I admitted to friends that I hadn’t been away from my kids overnight in years, I began to rethink things.  The weekly all nighters, the hourly feedings and the screaming fits are over. Well, to be honest, the screaming fits still happen—just not at four in the morning because of diaper rash. So doesn’t that mean that taking time for myself should be easier? Maybe the problem isn’t the kids; maybe the problem is me.   Well, that’s a load off my shoulders. I thought my kids were dragging me down. It turns out I am dragging myself down. I am the one who stays home with the kids so my husband can go on four (yes four) boys' weekends in one summer. I am the one who makes sure the soccer and ballet …

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Raising Needham

Raising Needham: The Realities of Stranger Danger

When is the right time to teach kids about stranger danger, and how much do they need to know?

I pride myself in being a very well informed and in touch parent. But, just as my daughter’s first sleepover request snuck up on me, so did the realities of stranger danger. I did the basic "stay away from strangers" talk, role-played common abduction scenarios and how to yell "fire" and not "help," reminded them never to leave my side and harped on who is OK to talk to and who isn’t. But when the outside world comes close to home, my talks suddenly seemed inadequate. My small town is struggling with and debating over what to do when a Level 3 sex offender made his presence known to children hanging out downtown, playing soccer and biking to school. While he has not committed a crime in our town to date (he is from a neighboring town), his…

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Raising Needham

Raising Needham: The Myth of the Easy Baby

The urban legend of the easy baby is just that, and I am here to put it to bed.

Believe it or not, I have a friend who once claimed, “I am bored at home because raising this baby is so easy. My baby is easy!” Of course, every set of eyes at the dinner tabled rolled with contempt as our friend blathered on about life with an easy baby. She coos all day, she goes to sleep without any fuss and her poops smell like roses. Blah, blah, blah. None of us bought it for one moment, and while I wanted to press her for the real deal, I let it go. If she believed her baby was easy then what was wrong with that? For starters, it makes the rest of us feel like inadequate, unappreciative underachievers. And I was not having it. Therefore, I have decided that there are no “easy babies." There are only degrees of difficulty that do not…

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Raising Needham

Raising Needham: Mixing Business with Pleasure

When is it OK to mix the business of parenting with the pleasure of a glass of wine?

It’s about time I write something to stir up the comment section. I usually stick to the less controversial issues and leave the hardcore topics to the more tough of skin. But I am done dodging the age-old question of whether or not it is OK to drink at kid’s birthday parties and play dates. I am here to say that (for me, anyway) it is OK. Now I am not talking about binge parties and keggers. I am talking about hosts supplying some beers and some wine at their child’s birthday party or offering a glass of wine during a play date. A lot has been written about this dilemma in the past few years, and there have even been books to address or mock the parenting quandary like "Nap Time Is The New Happy Hour" by Stephanie Wilder-Taylor and "The …

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Lollie Davis Weeks

3:10 pm on Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Pub party!? Now that's a kid birthday party I could get into!   more ›

Need Help Talking To Your Teen?

Needham Youth Services is offering a series of discussions for local parents.

Needham Youth Services is offering a series of free, one-night programs for parents that focus on the various challenges of parenting a teen. Called "A Conversation ... For Parents of Teens," the program is limited to nine parents per evening. The group will share stories and receive feedback in a comfortable, confidential setting. Dinner will be served during the meeting. Topics for the fall/early winter session include: Parents can sign up for all three nights but should specify the order of preference because Youth Services cannot guarantee parents will get a spot for all their selections. Parents are encouraged to register early. Registration information can be found online at www.needhamma.gov/youth/2012fallprograms (see page 5). …

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Raising Needham

Raising Needham: Our First Sleepover

Sleepovers are a rite of passage for kids and sometimes even for moms.

I was not prepared for the birthday invitation my six-year-old daughter got about a month ago. I was thinking the usual bouncy house, gymnastics, bowling or pool party for the cool first graders, but then I saw the words "sleep over" and my heart sank. Decades of repressed sleep over disaster memories came flooding back. I sat back in my chair, reread the invitation and immediately wondered how and if this would work. Maybe we would be out of town, maybe my daughter wouldn’t want to go, or maybe there would be a hurricane and the whole stress-inducing, bad-childhood-memory-making day would disappear. Then I decided to let my daughter decide and put my ridiculous, overblown (because I had some excellent sleepovers) memories behind me. So I …

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